I thought of you today but that's nothing new
I thought of you yesterday and days before that too
I think of you in silence and often speak your name
All I have are memories and pictures in a frame
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wishing Heaven had a phone
Holidays are tough. Mom, sometimes I just want so much to hear your voice again. To be able to give you a call and make Christmas plans together and talk about the little things.
I thought of you today but that's nothing new
I thought of you yesterday and days before that too
I think of you in silence and often speak your name
All I have are memories and pictures in a frame
I thought of you today but that's nothing new
I thought of you yesterday and days before that too
I think of you in silence and often speak your name
All I have are memories and pictures in a frame
Monday, November 29, 2010
Christmas Tree Day
Every year, we go with Paul's family to cut down our Christmas tree. This year was no exception, although it was extra special because it was Emma's first time as part of our tradition. Plus, we went on November 26th, which was Paul's parents' 39th wedding anniversary.
As usual, it was freezing cold for our foray out into the Christmas tree fields, so Emma stayed behind in the warm truck with her Granddad and Aunt Judy. After we had our trees all secured, we headed to the Log Cabin Inn for a delicious lunch. It was not Emma's first time in a restaurant, but it was her first time being awake in one! She did really well and Paul and I even both got to eat our food before it got cold.
We can't wait until next year when Emma can really take part!
As usual, it was freezing cold for our foray out into the Christmas tree fields, so Emma stayed behind in the warm truck with her Granddad and Aunt Judy. After we had our trees all secured, we headed to the Log Cabin Inn for a delicious lunch. It was not Emma's first time in a restaurant, but it was her first time being awake in one! She did really well and Paul and I even both got to eat our food before it got cold.
We can't wait until next year when Emma can really take part!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
I am Thankful
This Thanksgiving, we carried on our standard tradition of having dinner at Dad's house. Tracy, Jena & I got up super early to prepare the stuffing and get the bird in the oven while Dad watched (and offered plenty of unsolicited advice). Brody watched cartoons in his high chair most of the time, but he did do some token tearing of bread for the stuffing - next year he'll probably be more interested.
On this holiday of all holidays, I can't help but think of Mom. It was always her favorite time of the year, and she loved the turkey & stuffing and all of the pies that we always made together. This year Emma joined us for her first official Thanksgiving (although she slept all the way through dinner). The rest of us - Dad, me, Paul, Tracy, Johnny, Jena and Brody - stuffed ourselves and just enjoyed the opportunity to be together. Brody kept Johnny busy while the rest of us were cooking, making him chase back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. Baby Elliott was also with us (although still in Tracy's tummy so it's not his first official Thanksgiving yet). We were only missing Susie, Juan and Dylan, and of course Mom. I know she would have liked seeing me, Tracy and Jena working together and having fun cooking. I like to think that she was there with us all.
After our dinner, we headed off to Paul's uncle's house to visit with Paul's family. We got to see Heather, Steve, Jack and Allison who were in from Philly for the holidays. Emma had a minor meltdown while we were there - evening is her normal fussy time and she was already extra tired from the long day, I think. But luckily no one seemed to mind. They love our little Peanut even when she's crying!
I truly have so much to be thankful for this year - my beautiful baby girl, my amazing husband, my Dad and sisters, nephew and nephew-to-be, wonderful in-laws who have truly made me a part of their family, and the best friends in the world. Thank you, God.
On this holiday of all holidays, I can't help but think of Mom. It was always her favorite time of the year, and she loved the turkey & stuffing and all of the pies that we always made together. This year Emma joined us for her first official Thanksgiving (although she slept all the way through dinner). The rest of us - Dad, me, Paul, Tracy, Johnny, Jena and Brody - stuffed ourselves and just enjoyed the opportunity to be together. Brody kept Johnny busy while the rest of us were cooking, making him chase back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. Baby Elliott was also with us (although still in Tracy's tummy so it's not his first official Thanksgiving yet). We were only missing Susie, Juan and Dylan, and of course Mom. I know she would have liked seeing me, Tracy and Jena working together and having fun cooking. I like to think that she was there with us all.
After our dinner, we headed off to Paul's uncle's house to visit with Paul's family. We got to see Heather, Steve, Jack and Allison who were in from Philly for the holidays. Emma had a minor meltdown while we were there - evening is her normal fussy time and she was already extra tired from the long day, I think. But luckily no one seemed to mind. They love our little Peanut even when she's crying!
I truly have so much to be thankful for this year - my beautiful baby girl, my amazing husband, my Dad and sisters, nephew and nephew-to-be, wonderful in-laws who have truly made me a part of their family, and the best friends in the world. Thank you, God.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Emma's Birth Story
Wow, it's taken me a long time to post this! Our beautiful baby girl, Emma Jade Pinchot, was born on September 26, 2010 at 10:22 pm, and she weighed 8 pounds, 8 ounces. Since then, our life has been a whirlwind as we've learned to cope as new parents - through the sleep deprivation, moments of panic, moments of intense joy, and the roller coaster of daily life with a newborn. I plan to start posting regular updates again, but wanted to first start with her birth story.
So, where shall I start? On Saturday, September 25th, Paul and I went out to dinner at Rachel's in Grove City with Kim, Joe, Ryan and Dana. We had tons of fun laughing and talking over dinner. The topic of conversation? Emma's middle name! We already knew that Emma would be her first name, after Paul's grandmother. I was really concerned that Emma was a very popular name right now, and wanted to make sure that her middle name was somewhat distinctive and unique. We had a lively discussion, even involving our waitress, on middle name options. Some names that were considered: Jade (the final winner, of course), Elizabeth, Jocelyn, Alexis, and Patricia (after my mother - which would have definitely been my choice if the names went together a little better). Everyone had an opinion and we didn't really settle on anything that night. But, as it turns out, it was great timing for the discussion because Paul and I would have to make a decision sooner than we thought. All through dinner, everyone was teasing me saying that I should go into labor already, because they were so anxious to meet Emma. Kidding aside, I was feeling some "squeezing" type feelings, just as if the baby were tightening up into a ball, throughout the night. I had felt them before, and wrote them off as Braxton-Hicks contractions, even though I teased back and told everyone that I was having contractions right then so labor might be a possibility. I didn't really believe it myself, I was absolutely just joking. Little did I know...
We were all pleasantly stuffed from our delicious meal but still wanted some of the restaurant's famous peanut butter chocolate pie, so we ordered a pie to go and headed home. The contractions stopped after that and so I totally forgot about them on the way home. We stopped at Kim and Joe's house to hang out and later divided up the pie. I grabbed a fork and ate exactly 6 delicious bites of it! (Later I would be convinced that the pie is what started my labor!)
We left Kim and Joe's house around midnight and were back home and in bed going to sleep at 12:30. We were both exhausted and fell asleep right away. I woke up with mild feeling contractions at 2:30 am. I stayed in bed for a while just feeling them, wondering what exactly was happening. It took me about 20 or 30 minutes before I realized that I was feeling contractions, but even then I thought that they must be Braxton-Hicks. At about 3:30, they hadn't stopped and they were getting a bit stronger. I got out of bed (careful not to wake Paul) and went into the living room and started timing them. They were about 30 seconds each, approximately 3-4 minutes apart. I thought that that couldn't be right, because didn't they tell you to go to the hospital if contractions were that close together for more than an hour!? For some reason, I still didn't think I was really in labor although I'm not sure why. I was 38 weeks at the time - exactly 2 weeks before my due date. I went back to bed and layed there awake just feeling them but not sure exactly what to think. After a while, I started to realize that I was probably in labor. I still just continued to rest in bed, trying not to wake Paul. They started to get a little stronger, and by about 4:00 am, I suppose I was making enough noise that Paul woke up and asked me if I was OK. I told him that I thought I was in labor but I wasn't sure. We sat in bed and talked about it. He said that I should call Brenda (our doula) and see what she thought. I felt bad calling at 4:30 in the morning, so he suggested that I take a shower to help relax. I thought that was a great idea and got in the shower. While I was in the shower, the pains got stronger and stronger - and closer together! It was at that point that I think I truly realized that I was in labor. At 5:00 am I got out of the shower, quickly dried off, and without even saying anything to Paul, went right to the phone to call Brenda. I remember Paul saying that I must be sure now since I came out of the shower and practically dove for the phone. I filled Brenda in and she had me call the midwives. Their answering service said that they would have the midwife on call get back to me. About five minutes later the midwife returned my call. I was about to explain everything when, just at that moment, I felt my water break! Because my water broke, she told me that I should come in to the hospital. It was about 5:30 and we agreed to meet at there at 7:00 because I figured it would take me a few minutes to get a bag together (I hadn't packed one yet) and drive to Pittsburgh. She suggested that I eat something before I left, which I told Paul.
I started rushing around throwing things into my duffel bag. I asked Paul to get the carseat and put it in the car because we hadn't done that yet either. But, he was rushing around in the kitchen trying to find me something to eat. I guess he settled on pumpkin pie because he came out with a piece and kept trying to get me to eat it. I was NOT in the mood to eat, though, and kept refusing until I finally said, "I'm not eating anything now, I want to GO!" The poor guy was just trying to help (and he was doing the right thing) but I had a one track mind at the time. While Paul got the bag and the carseat in the car and dragged poor Zoe out of bed to take her outside, I got dressed as well as I could and got some waterproof pads to put on my seat for the car ride. And then we were off to the hospital!
Paul drove exceptionally well considering how nervous he must have been. My contractions were steadily getting stronger and stronger as we kept driving and every little bump was keenly felt. Luckily, there was no traffic at 6:00 in the morning on a Sunday, so we got into Pittsburgh in good time with no problems.
Brenda met us at Magee not long after and really helped me to focus and breathe. I was moved to a labor suite and promptly threw up from the pain, which was steadily increasing. I was doing so great for the first several hours but I started to get so tired from having absolutely no rest between contractions. They were about a minute apart almost the entire time. Brenda was amazing - she was with me literally the entire time (because there was no break) and helping me to breathe and relax and get through it. Paul was there too of course and I was so grateful just to have him by my side through it all.
I kept thinking that things were going very very fast since my contractions were so close for so long and Brenda thought so too. We were convinced that I was far along (in transition) and so I had them check me but I was only 5 cm dilated. I was so disappointed but kept going for another couple of hours. I did use the shower for a while to help ease the pain. Tracy and Johnny arrived around this point and apparently heard me outside the labor room, scaring Tracy pretty good (since she was due 2 months later!). Around noon I was getting so exhausted that I could hardly stand up anymore so we left the shower and headed back to the bed. I had them check me again and I was 6 cm dilated this time. I couldn't believe that it wasn't more considering that the contractions never let up. At that point, Katherine (our midwife) said that it would probably be another 4 hours at the rate I was going. I couldn't handle the thought of another 4 hours of what I was going through. It wasn't that each contraction was too painful to handle because I could get through them individually without too much trouble - but I was just so exhausted from no rest between them that I was losing it and I didn't have the energy to keep going. At one point, Paul said I looked like I was in the Exorcist because my wet hair was sticking up, I was groaning in pain, and I couldn't make a coherent word. That's when I requested the epidural. I REALLY did not want one because I really wanted a fully natural birth. But at the time, it was something that I felt I needed because I was too exhausted to continue the way things were going. It took about another hour to get the epidural. When the anesthesiologist asked me my pain level on a scale from 1 to 10, I just stared at him, and he laughed and said, "OK, 100."
After the epidural kicked in, I was astounded at how effective it was - I couldn't feel the pains anymore but I could feel and move my legs (they were tingly). It was such a relief to get a break. I remember asking the midwife and all of the nurses their names at that point and apologizing for practically screaming in their faces. They were all laughing at me and telling me everything was normal. Getting the epidural slowed down the progress. It was actually about another 8 hours before I was dilated to 10 cm. I was pretty comfortable during that time and got to talk to my family while I was waiting. The waiting room was right across the hall from the labor suite and everyone was there - Dad, Tracy, Johnny, Jena, Paul's Mom and Dad, Kim, and Joe. During the long wait, they were watching the Steeler game in the waiting room and we could hear their occasional cheers. Everyone kept saying we had the most packed waiting room in the hospital!
The pushing phase lasted about an hour and a half. By that time, the epidural had just about worn off and I could feel all the contractions again so I was able to direct my own pushing. Paul and Brenda were there for the entire thing, on either side of me helping me through it.
And then... our beautiful baby girl was born at 10:22pm. Paul cut the cord. Seeing her for the first time was the most joyful, shocking moment of my entire life. Paul and I were both so happy! Overall, I was in labor for 20 hours. It was hard but I would do it again - Emma was worth every moment of pain, and more.
So, where shall I start? On Saturday, September 25th, Paul and I went out to dinner at Rachel's in Grove City with Kim, Joe, Ryan and Dana. We had tons of fun laughing and talking over dinner. The topic of conversation? Emma's middle name! We already knew that Emma would be her first name, after Paul's grandmother. I was really concerned that Emma was a very popular name right now, and wanted to make sure that her middle name was somewhat distinctive and unique. We had a lively discussion, even involving our waitress, on middle name options. Some names that were considered: Jade (the final winner, of course), Elizabeth, Jocelyn, Alexis, and Patricia (after my mother - which would have definitely been my choice if the names went together a little better). Everyone had an opinion and we didn't really settle on anything that night. But, as it turns out, it was great timing for the discussion because Paul and I would have to make a decision sooner than we thought. All through dinner, everyone was teasing me saying that I should go into labor already, because they were so anxious to meet Emma. Kidding aside, I was feeling some "squeezing" type feelings, just as if the baby were tightening up into a ball, throughout the night. I had felt them before, and wrote them off as Braxton-Hicks contractions, even though I teased back and told everyone that I was having contractions right then so labor might be a possibility. I didn't really believe it myself, I was absolutely just joking. Little did I know...
We were all pleasantly stuffed from our delicious meal but still wanted some of the restaurant's famous peanut butter chocolate pie, so we ordered a pie to go and headed home. The contractions stopped after that and so I totally forgot about them on the way home. We stopped at Kim and Joe's house to hang out and later divided up the pie. I grabbed a fork and ate exactly 6 delicious bites of it! (Later I would be convinced that the pie is what started my labor!)
We left Kim and Joe's house around midnight and were back home and in bed going to sleep at 12:30. We were both exhausted and fell asleep right away. I woke up with mild feeling contractions at 2:30 am. I stayed in bed for a while just feeling them, wondering what exactly was happening. It took me about 20 or 30 minutes before I realized that I was feeling contractions, but even then I thought that they must be Braxton-Hicks. At about 3:30, they hadn't stopped and they were getting a bit stronger. I got out of bed (careful not to wake Paul) and went into the living room and started timing them. They were about 30 seconds each, approximately 3-4 minutes apart. I thought that that couldn't be right, because didn't they tell you to go to the hospital if contractions were that close together for more than an hour!? For some reason, I still didn't think I was really in labor although I'm not sure why. I was 38 weeks at the time - exactly 2 weeks before my due date. I went back to bed and layed there awake just feeling them but not sure exactly what to think. After a while, I started to realize that I was probably in labor. I still just continued to rest in bed, trying not to wake Paul. They started to get a little stronger, and by about 4:00 am, I suppose I was making enough noise that Paul woke up and asked me if I was OK. I told him that I thought I was in labor but I wasn't sure. We sat in bed and talked about it. He said that I should call Brenda (our doula) and see what she thought. I felt bad calling at 4:30 in the morning, so he suggested that I take a shower to help relax. I thought that was a great idea and got in the shower. While I was in the shower, the pains got stronger and stronger - and closer together! It was at that point that I think I truly realized that I was in labor. At 5:00 am I got out of the shower, quickly dried off, and without even saying anything to Paul, went right to the phone to call Brenda. I remember Paul saying that I must be sure now since I came out of the shower and practically dove for the phone. I filled Brenda in and she had me call the midwives. Their answering service said that they would have the midwife on call get back to me. About five minutes later the midwife returned my call. I was about to explain everything when, just at that moment, I felt my water break! Because my water broke, she told me that I should come in to the hospital. It was about 5:30 and we agreed to meet at there at 7:00 because I figured it would take me a few minutes to get a bag together (I hadn't packed one yet) and drive to Pittsburgh. She suggested that I eat something before I left, which I told Paul.
I started rushing around throwing things into my duffel bag. I asked Paul to get the carseat and put it in the car because we hadn't done that yet either. But, he was rushing around in the kitchen trying to find me something to eat. I guess he settled on pumpkin pie because he came out with a piece and kept trying to get me to eat it. I was NOT in the mood to eat, though, and kept refusing until I finally said, "I'm not eating anything now, I want to GO!" The poor guy was just trying to help (and he was doing the right thing) but I had a one track mind at the time. While Paul got the bag and the carseat in the car and dragged poor Zoe out of bed to take her outside, I got dressed as well as I could and got some waterproof pads to put on my seat for the car ride. And then we were off to the hospital!
Paul drove exceptionally well considering how nervous he must have been. My contractions were steadily getting stronger and stronger as we kept driving and every little bump was keenly felt. Luckily, there was no traffic at 6:00 in the morning on a Sunday, so we got into Pittsburgh in good time with no problems.
Brenda met us at Magee not long after and really helped me to focus and breathe. I was moved to a labor suite and promptly threw up from the pain, which was steadily increasing. I was doing so great for the first several hours but I started to get so tired from having absolutely no rest between contractions. They were about a minute apart almost the entire time. Brenda was amazing - she was with me literally the entire time (because there was no break) and helping me to breathe and relax and get through it. Paul was there too of course and I was so grateful just to have him by my side through it all.
I kept thinking that things were going very very fast since my contractions were so close for so long and Brenda thought so too. We were convinced that I was far along (in transition) and so I had them check me but I was only 5 cm dilated. I was so disappointed but kept going for another couple of hours. I did use the shower for a while to help ease the pain. Tracy and Johnny arrived around this point and apparently heard me outside the labor room, scaring Tracy pretty good (since she was due 2 months later!). Around noon I was getting so exhausted that I could hardly stand up anymore so we left the shower and headed back to the bed. I had them check me again and I was 6 cm dilated this time. I couldn't believe that it wasn't more considering that the contractions never let up. At that point, Katherine (our midwife) said that it would probably be another 4 hours at the rate I was going. I couldn't handle the thought of another 4 hours of what I was going through. It wasn't that each contraction was too painful to handle because I could get through them individually without too much trouble - but I was just so exhausted from no rest between them that I was losing it and I didn't have the energy to keep going. At one point, Paul said I looked like I was in the Exorcist because my wet hair was sticking up, I was groaning in pain, and I couldn't make a coherent word. That's when I requested the epidural. I REALLY did not want one because I really wanted a fully natural birth. But at the time, it was something that I felt I needed because I was too exhausted to continue the way things were going. It took about another hour to get the epidural. When the anesthesiologist asked me my pain level on a scale from 1 to 10, I just stared at him, and he laughed and said, "OK, 100."
After the epidural kicked in, I was astounded at how effective it was - I couldn't feel the pains anymore but I could feel and move my legs (they were tingly). It was such a relief to get a break. I remember asking the midwife and all of the nurses their names at that point and apologizing for practically screaming in their faces. They were all laughing at me and telling me everything was normal. Getting the epidural slowed down the progress. It was actually about another 8 hours before I was dilated to 10 cm. I was pretty comfortable during that time and got to talk to my family while I was waiting. The waiting room was right across the hall from the labor suite and everyone was there - Dad, Tracy, Johnny, Jena, Paul's Mom and Dad, Kim, and Joe. During the long wait, they were watching the Steeler game in the waiting room and we could hear their occasional cheers. Everyone kept saying we had the most packed waiting room in the hospital!
The pushing phase lasted about an hour and a half. By that time, the epidural had just about worn off and I could feel all the contractions again so I was able to direct my own pushing. Paul and Brenda were there for the entire thing, on either side of me helping me through it.
And then... our beautiful baby girl was born at 10:22pm. Paul cut the cord. Seeing her for the first time was the most joyful, shocking moment of my entire life. Paul and I were both so happy! Overall, I was in labor for 20 hours. It was hard but I would do it again - Emma was worth every moment of pain, and more.
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